It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize that comparing my twins’ progress to other kids (medically complex or not) was doing more harm than good. As a special needs mom, in the early days, I’d scroll through social media, seeing other kids hitting milestones my twins weren’t even thinking about, and yeah, it stung.
The comparison game hit especially hard when well-meaning people (you know the ones) would ask, “So when do you think they’ll catch up?”
Spoiler: Medical mom life doesn’t come with a timeline.
I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—that every kid does things on their own terms, and our story doesn’t have to match anyone else’s to be valid, important, and worth celebrating.
The Moment It Hit Me
I remember sitting in a therapy appointment, watching another child breeze through the same exercises my kid was struggling with. I felt that familiar gut punch—was I not doing enough? Should we be doing more therapy, trying different approaches, pushing harder? And honestly, nobody warns you just how mentally exhausting therapy can be. If you’ve ever felt like therapy is way harder than you expected, I wrote more about that here.”
But then our therapist casually hit me with:
“Your child is on their own timeline, and that’s okay.”
And wow, I needed to hear that.
How I’m (Mostly) Letting Go of Comparison
Focusing on Our Wins
Instead of measuring progress against someone else’s, I started celebrating our wins—big and small. Whether it’s mastering a new skill in therapy or just making it through a week without a meltdown (from either of us), that’s worth celebrating.
Finding Tools That Make Me Feel Less Like I’m Drowning
Look, medical parenting is like herding caffeinated squirrels. Having some kind of system makes it a little less chaotic. My Medical Mom Reset Workbook helps me keep track of the stuff that actually matters—appointments, milestones, reminders to breathe—so I can focus on our journey instead of everyone else’s.
Want a little more control over the chaos? Grab the Medical Mom Reset Workbook here and start tracking what actually matters.
Giving Myself (and My Kids) a Little More Grace
Progress isn’t always a straight line. Some days we move forward, some days we’re just surviving—and some days we’re scrubbing vomit out of the carpet at 2 AM. (Comparison won’t clean that up for you, but this stain remover will. You’re welcome.)
There’s No ‘Behind’—Just Your Own Path
If you’re feeling stuck in the medical mom comparison trap, I see you. It’s so easy to feel like you’re falling behind when social media is showing you everyone else’s highlight reel.
But here’s the thing—there’s no behind. There’s just your path, your pace, and your wins.
And if you need a way to track those wins without losing your mind? Along with my Medical Mom Reset Workbook, I swear by this stain remover for tackling the messes medical mom life throws at us.
👉 Click here to grab the workbook and check out my go-to cleaning lifesaver. Your carpets and furniture will thank you.
**Heads up! This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you—if you make a purchase. I only recommend things I actually love and use in my own medical mom life!
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